As you've undoubtedly read (or would have if I hadn't pushed the story down the page a bit), Kyle hired two new writers here at Driveline Mechanics. The guy who co-founded the Dayton Moore Fan Club with me, TucsonRoyal,  and another guy so nice he actually read and commented on one of my posts one time: vivaelpujols. I extend my hearty and warm welcomes to these two fine gentlemen. But I also extend a warning.

For a birthday present, the wife and I decided to to splurge on some really good tickets to see Zack Greinke annihilate the Blue Jays this past Friday (ahem). Well, good tickets for me -- a few rows above the dugout. But on Thursday, I decided to do something even more fun -- feel terrible all day, go to a walk-in clinic, then spend about 6 hours sitting around the emergency room, culminating in the joy of a midnight appendectomy. You aren't going to believe this, but we didn't make the game. It's been a heckuva fun weekend.

I realize I'm not put out to pasture yet, but look at these new guys. Have you read vivaelpujols incredible "Rating Players Using Playoff Probability Added" (which should have landed him a BP gig)? (Remember 1985!) Have you checked out TucsonRoyal's analyses of Luke Hochevar, Nuke LaLoosh, Hall-of-Fame WAR Numbers, or the Pitching Mound At Arlington? I'm not sure how often these guys are going to be writing around here, but it doesn't take a weatherman to see which way the wind is blowing: I'm on my way out.

Sure, I'm a hack who just crunches numbers anyone could access and cracks stales jokes. I was here first Sure, having the three of us on staff is the equivalent of having an outfield defense with David DeJesus in left field, CoCo Crisp in center, and Jose Guillen (me) in right... Don't you dare put Mark Teahen out here when Alex Gordon (I guess that's Dave) returns. I was here first. It doesn't matter that my "range' in limited, my arm overrated, and that I never walk and that I tend to ground into double plays pretty  much whenever the opportunity arises. I was, oh forget it.

I know the score. And I'll be back tomorrow or the day after with a real column. I probably need more time to recover, but, you know. That's just how it goes in this blog business. One minute you're pumping out lineup analyses and "self-promoting" on a regular basis, the next you're thawing hot dogs in a gas station bathroom. I'll just bide my time until I get sent to the glue factory, um, I mean, "hired by the Rays," as the euphemism seems to go.